- Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
- All generalizations are false, including this one
- What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
- The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.


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