drinks for everyone
One night, a drunk comes stumbling
into a bar and says to the bartender:
"Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the
bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be
$36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the
bartender slaps him around
and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders
a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender.
Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk
says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and
throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for
all except the bartender. "What, no drink for me?" replies
the bartender. "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
you Smell it?
A 21 year old girl saunters into a
prestigous car showroom, looks
around all the Porsches, Ferrari's and Lamborghini's before
deciding on a top-end Red Porsche.
"I'll pay cash!"
she says and hands over a bagful of Twenties.
is finalised very quickly and the girl drives it away.
2 days later she's back, fuming "I want my money back... it
smells awfully (6)
bad when I use the brakes."
Not wanting to lose the sale (having taken cash and fiddled the books)
the sales-manager decides to ride in the car with her 'in
case she ain't driving it properly'
gets in and she roars
out of the dealership,
drops it into second gear at 50 mph, floors the pedal again
and slips into 3rd at 80mph, does a handbrake turn into a
country lane and then really starts to accelerate.
110mph in 4th, 140 in 5th, the engine's roaring like a Lion
with toothache, and the car is shuddering as it climbs
to 170mph. The scenery is a green blur and the G-force has
him pinned in the seat.
In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a level
crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to
slow down (he thinks!), but no, she floors it and the
100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the
car stops inches from the barrier.
"So, can you smell it?" she says.
"SMELL IT? HONEY, I'M
SITTING IN IT!!!"