A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband walking
around with a fly swatter (*matamoscas).
"What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting flies", He
"Oh really!, Have you killed any?", She asked.
"Yes, 3 males and 2 females", he replied.
Curious, she asked. "How do you know if they're male or
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone".
50 Quid (50 quid = 50 pounds sterling)
Bill Reeves and his wife Doris were from Hackney, East
Every year they went to the Farnborough Air Show, and every
year Bill said "You know Doris, I'd love to go for a ride in
that small airplane". And every year Doris would say, "I
know, Bill, but that airplane ride costs 50 quid, and 50
quid is 50 quid".
So Fred says, "Doris, I'm 71 years old, if I don't go this
time I may never go".
Doris replies, "Bill, that airplane ride is 50 quid..... and
50 quid is 50 quid".
One year the pilot hears them talking and says, "I'll make
you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride, and if you can
stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE word, I won't
charge you, but just one word and it's 50 quid".
They agree and up they go... the pilot does all kinds of
twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard;
he does it one more time, still nothing... so he lands.
He turns to Bill as they come to a stop and says, "That was
amazing! I did everything I could think of to make you shout
out, but you didn't!"
And Bill replies, "Well, I was gonna say something when
Doris fell out... but 50 quid is 50 quid!".