was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down
for a little chat. He says "James, let me tell you
something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I
took off my trousers and gave them to your mother, and said,
'Here darling, try these on.
So, she did and said, Well sweetie they're a little too big,
I can't wear them.' So I replied,...exactly. I wear the
trousers in this family and I always will.
Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," says James. He thinks that might be a good thing to
try. So, on his honeymoon James takes off his trousers and
says to Jill, "Here babe, try these on."
So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit
So James says, "...exactly. I wear the trousers in this
family and I always will & don't you ever forget that.
Then Jill takes off her trousers and hands them to James and
says, "Here, you try on mine."
So he does and says, "I can't even get into your trousers."
So Jill says,"...exactly. And if your attitude doesn't
change, you never will!
German, a Mexican, and an Irishman were doing construction
work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They
were eating lunch and the German said, "Sausages! If I get
sausages one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos
again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump
The Irishman opened his lunch and said, "Corned beef and
cabbage. If I get a corned beef and cabbage sandwich one
more time I'm jumping, too."
The next day the German opens his lunch box, sees sausages
and jumps to his death.
The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps, too.
The Irishman opens his lunch, sees the Corned beef and
cabbage and jumps to his death, also.
At the funeral the German's wife is crying. She says, "If
I'd known how really tired he was of sausages I never would
have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also cries and says "I could have given
him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos
so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Irishman's wife.
"Hey, don't look at me," she said. "He made his own lunch!"