Late one Friday night two policemen saw a man driving very dangerously through the streets of Dublin. They stopped the man’s car and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
"Oh, yes I have. It’s Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos, which are quite good. I had four or five of those. Then I had to drive my friend Mick home and of course, he invited me in for a couple of Guinness’ – I couldn't be rude, you know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later.." And the man looked around in his coat pocket until he found his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.
The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test." Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't you believe me?"


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale
Irritated, the teacher repeated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible
The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'
The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'
The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.

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