A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes in to her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies "If your member is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."



Three men are sitting naked in a sauna. There’s a bleeping noise, the first man presses his arm and the beeping stops, “That’s a text message” he explains, “I had a microchip implanted in my arm.”
Then the phone rings the second man lifts the palm of his hand to his ear, and says, “That was my mobile phone, I too had a micro chip implanted in my hand.”
The third man stands up not wanting to be out done leaves the room and comes back with toilet paper sticking out of his bum, he adds, “I’m receiving a fax.”

Diccionario online
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